I think you're as lonely as a Sunday morning that never had a Saturday night >>

Bowled a cricket ball for the first time since '96-97, oddly enough also in Australia, on Sunday. My right shoulder is now in extreme pain and my lower back in agony. It was, however, not an entirely displeasing experience. Went down to the nets with a mate, and when a South African tells a SL "shit man, you're bowling with decent pace and getting a bit of bounce too", you know you're doing alright. Having said which, I had no rhythm and my run-up was all over the place so everything was been generated through the shoulder, hence the pain.

I've never been hugely enthused by much of the writing at writeclique since it has a very SL vibe to it. It's all very earnest and worthy, with the writers clearly influenced by what it taught to them as "good literature". You can sense the star english lit. pupils, from our great educational institutions, doing their teachers proud there. Hence my pleasure in discovering anonymous, who manages to be intense and powerful, yet with a distinct touch about her writing. Well done that person; given some of the soporific heavy-handedness that is around the net at the moment, like my memories of initially encountering various conclave members, she provides evidence that perhaps there is something out there. Something other than people who are so by-the-numbers cliched that they bore me to an utterly inexcusable rage.

Speaking of matters in the general domain of angst, I saw the trailer for this recently; a fictional recreation of the last days of Kurt Cobain. I find some of the speculation regarding his death odd, for when you can answer yes to the following:

- manic depressive
- heroin habit
- emotionally abusive relationship
- a dramatic and stressful change in life-style

suicide would seem to be a not unlikely end.

And that's my second KC reference in the space of three posts, which is quite possibly an indication of my current emotional state.

It's been a reccuring theme, like so many others things in my life, but I am once again on the cusp of a huge upheaval in lifestyle. There's one thing in particular that makes this one seem especially promising and unlike previous occasions I don't feel like I'm running away from anything. In fact, this is more running to something but still the inevitable broodiness is to the fore. I remember saying, during my weekly midnight, forty-minute state of grace, that "I'm resigning myself to the fact I'll have more bad days than good for the next two months" and I think that's the best way of coping. That and remembering life is simply the sum total of its parts. Focus on the parts that matter and ride out the emptiness and that'll see me through 'til late June.

I felt the need to link to this now since I'm bound to be reminded of it later.

mail : bigreg at budweiser dot com